The garden was full of nectar and all things good
Birdsong and sweet fragrances that brought distinct memory
Always something delightful and wonderful to remember
Further into the fruit orchard were hidden scupltures
There were highly decorated tall brick walls
The front of the property boasted an incredible garage
But there was no house in the middle
Nowhere to live
And puzzling over so many great things
The mind stopped at the one exceptionally unforgivable missing piece
No house.
We both checked the poster
Numbers moved and coordinates
The poster printed out tshirts for popular kids
The creator ripped one edge of the poster
And every design afterward had that rip
Like a genetic defect repeating down the line
Words written backwards forwards and upside down
moving in those directions with numbers
communicating with itself
on someone's tshirt
The ignorance of the past ripped it
The fury and tradition tore it
And now it is spilling letters and words all over the pavement
Like a graffiti soup a ruinous chaos
Brought on by a false sense of order
A ripped poster which was used a print for a popular t shirt
The anchor of axe akkey
The rock that doesn't break
The thickness of slumber tested
The lost minds of dream
Abstract unbreakable membrane
Wake I'm waking to a new layer of reality
Will my body and mind allow me
Will i pierve it with the sting of my awareness
Or remain unconscious pre alarm sonolent
The anchor weighs me down into sleep
my body barely floating below the surface
Gargantuan sea predators come in range
But they fear the chain attached to the anchor of axe akkey
The chain of connected fate
Thick and electric
On the heavy anchor of axe akkey
We were attempting to climb everest
The track was so shaded thin surface ice melted next to our footfalls
The younger of us asked is it only eight kilometers up?
The oldest of us replied yes but it gets almost vertical in places
we continued along the track rhodadendron flowers flashing
Hillside boulders and cannabis looming
We walk in unison for seconds then lose pace among ourselves
By the time our steps develop consistency the track climbs
Night will fall soon
a local house will bed us and feed us
When your head is in the clouds and your stoned
away with angels and demons that are never seen
talking in abstract whistles and not languages acceptable
You pace down the street not knowing the owner
vultures imitate the clicking
the clicking in your stoned mind
The smoke you draw in
Within it subtle destruction
There is no safety here
You will not tag in peace
The sense of severance inside
The clicking goes on
punishing your hot jaw
Your damp eyes
The unnatural ways the drizzle spits on the skin
You can walk faster yet vultures follow each step
Follow your false confidence wildlife observes
The hidden reptiles laugh in silence
The drizzle is such a hot curse against the blurred senses
I fly over again torturing your senses
sleeping in your conscience
Digging a hole out in the center of you
So a piece of me can live there in your total apathy
Smoke your drugs sell them in the street
I will follow you and slowly bring upon your destruction
A ritual under the pavement that doesnt absorb your steps
On the roadsides you leave your trash on
A piece of me follows you, pushes misfortune onto your path
Celebrates your injury
Drains your power for my own good
You are the parasite, I consume you
The black dog came bounding out of the lodge
It gained enough momentum then jumped over a small river
Then it ran past me as if I didn't exist almost takin gmy legs out
It jumped into the warm sulphuric lake and swam up to the pontoon deck
Climbed it easily and shook itself off predictably and with gusto
Looked back at me from those ten meters eyes catching my eyes
With that glint that said Aren't I good and where's my applause
Then it dived off the pontoon gracefully back into the lake
Swimming back to me then arriving on the shore like a conquistador
Rubbing it's wet body against my pants in an entitled fashion
Then there it was again it looked back up at me for admiration
Those beady eyes searching my face for any notion of awe
Investigating me to see if it had earned any validation
I patted the dog and tried to make it feel special
The owner came out and tried to hide his jealousy
he looked hungover despondant tired eyes scanning
Then looking away continued down to the employment office
The dog looked up at me one more time then scooted off to follow the man
The bat came in to sniff the bananas
Then exited in a blink of an eye
In a blink of my eye, now sad there sat a tear forming
I called thing back
But it wasn't having none
I could feel many tears well up in my eyes
As the truth it delivered became so heavy and obvious
I had been faking it most of my life
A performer a disguiser
I had pretended
And so underneath there wasn't much
But silly soul that wanted to measure up
When the whole point was to ignore the competition
And build your own sense of self
The first tear wet and treacherous rolled off
Like a precious piece of me leaving forever
Like that little bat speeding off
What a faker i have become
what a phoney I properly am
and more tears followed the thought
The one that I wasn't authentic
But something I had sculpted and chipped away at
Mostly through frustration
