Their bathroom in perpetual shade
Near pictures of the family
My face not here
The darkest side of the house
Cool all year round
Overgrown bamboo
Shuts out the others
Chosen neglect
what gets left in the shade
Get's overlooked
Ignored at the dinner table
Anger is the only residue
As the others struggle to grow
Seemingly no mercy
Self absorption
recycling the fat
The over achievers were chosen for compliance
Their concealment of hidden flaws
Their biggest feat yet
Dog sprints
Up to the highway
Beside the lorry
Another dog runs into the distance
Dog watches him go
Could have been a her
Probably a smell my one knew
He looks back to me
Deluge between us
Roads turn to shallow lakes
He sprints into it
and swims back to me
Problematic mammal
Love him
Adjusting the weight
Making way for others
Pushing up
dreams harden
reality begs to be mixed
for it may curdle
Move the seat level
change the position
Exhaust yourself there
So much to prove
Noone to turn to
sweat and effort
thoughts subside
Intensity diminishes
A kind of freedom flexes
Needing to be fed everyday
Sometimes I speak.
She gives me silence.
Sometimes she speaks
to fill the void.
Perhaps she sees it now:
I'm boring.
I want my space.
No crowds.
No dancing.
No desire.
Just work.
Just work.
Until I disappear.
But work is empty too.
So what remains
when the music dies?
Why keep reaching
for nothing?
Why keep searching
when I can't find
me,
you,
or why
I began?
Down to the flat two kilometers before the bridge
Where the old sheds stood
Random mediocre macracarpa
Sewagey trees with nothing but big trunks
A peppering of native bush hanging on
There set up your laboratory
Your sophisticated prison
There we can take the other ones
See what they really really believe
Tap into the depths of their mystery diseases
Put them away like cattle inside fences
Kill their parents make it look like suicide
Test the new pop drugs on these ones
See how readily veins buzz and euphoria dwells
Strap them in and see it all shake like those moments
Just before impact during a car accident
Sewage minds will flow
The cattle will be greased
And set alight to distract the cameras
No way across you want to get to know yourself
Sinking half way back to shore
Soon alone feel the heat as if it were cold
Those who said they'd be there and just ignore
Saw you coming on the sand and avoided
Walked back in the opposite direction before you get dry
What did you owe them what did they owe you
What a game to keep score
To hurt deep down to withdraw again
Just to return to the same disgrace
How you feel the tickle of outrage
creeping up on you again
The salt water slowly evapourates
But you've no towel to dry off
And curse the man that offers
And worship the man who took yours
She stared down and began to cry
Life was over
she tried to look up
tears flooded in
down hands together to pray
But no faith
They separate again
How gray it all seems
Tears make it further and further
Her resignation prevents her from wiping
They make it to the floor
Drops dry dreadfully into dust
She cries the rest of me out of her
She'll leave me behind pretty soon
Sharing her misery piece meal with someone else
