Chub Mcgroob lived down langford street
He'd have his fill of pancakes saturday afternoon Ihop
He'd get in the door go straight for the menu
Then inch closer to the waitress Sally ann
The same one he saw every time he came for those cakes
She was always on shift at that time
He'd come through the door like it was just the pancakes he was interested in
But down at the table when he was warming up he'd turn up the charm
So was he there for Sally ann? or those sweet soft syrupy cakes back there?
It was a mystery to her and to him maybe it was just a transaction
Chub didn't seem to think, he just seemed to bang into things
He should have been nicknamed clumsy
His legs would almost buckle under him as he walked back to his shack on Lanford street
Sometimes he'd struggle to get in the front door for all the liquer they put in his drink
One day the neighbors were on the street and they observed Chubs halfway into the front door
He was in a state and lurched forward and back until it was obvious what he was doing...
He projectile vomited into his own house
The neighbors of langford street just whispered to themselves
And covered their children's eyes
Mcgroob was never looked at the same after that