When God used to say

 God spoke to us not through church
yet a message knitted into reality

No euphoric sermons
but through holy windows in the cloud
through the oncoming spring
Through courage gathered

For many a truth one may never swallow
As lies have become a staple for all of you
So scripture is just loose bricks in your backyard lad
for the cement of truth has hardened in your bucket

Through our shortcomings and oversights
through our lack of understanding
in the great voids within us
In the abundances that we fight to consider

fight to consider your abundance
consider the wreck of your life rebuilt
develop the callus from labor
free from the intramural collective mistakes

Remember when God used to tell you
you were beautiful on the earth
before you gave ears and cares to drivel
No divine ladder can support deadweight

1 second of clarity is worth more than a lifetime of mania

Last time I left

 I stand on the plateau
I perish in the wind
My corpse soaks into the earth
I rise in spirit body decomposed

I am matched with the wind
blowing me across the open expanses
whistling and pouring energy
into the invisible vessel I am

Fear erupts as we flow over the water
humidity weighing me down
the deep waters a promise of oblivion
the essence of losing oneself

Driven toward space 
thrown back to the huge waves
pulled in by heavy clouds
shouting through thunder

spitting me out across a stormy coast
where all aspects of me fuse into the weathered rock
where lightening has tagged the stone surface
now made magnetic and alive

Just a bellhop for the tides
A derelict inside dark burned rock
Tollkeeper absorbing the sun and rain
conspiring with God for my next birth

Acquiring error

 Adolescence arm lifted me up like a winner
hungry to feed me to adulthood's glimmer
oh how vehicles through lifestages flip
I will cultivate your many whims I quipped

As the sun still shines yet early fall of night
Crops may outlive the few hours of light
Bunching on incredible yields
not to satiate your feeling

but to reflect the divinity line through life
Is not human accuracy
watch the youth attempt and fail
weary of skill afterward

lost in their reflections skeptical of truth
their rules fall away as autumn leaves do
back to the language of instinct
expectation feels like sinking

back toward shelter simulated mother's arms
We all casually and unashamedly return to infancy
mimicking older siblings acquiring outer error within
sweaping the floors with proud ignorant wide grins

The air was sweet our perception soft and vapid
Optimism was born into us like stomach acid
Unity seemed so automatic and eternal
Life forced us to weild a knife

Learning seemed to be a fuel
until we were proven wrong
The universe deafening us with it's laughter
each chapter requiring an incision or slaughter

Bhartriji

 I've found you in the north
cultivating these lands
disappearing and reappearing
you lived here and you died here

we felt your presence divine permission
we saw your craft
the devoted family
give me the rhodadendron's essence

the evergreen to brace for ice
as you you brace for age
on these sacred rocks
show us the recipe you have concocted

we see the fat mistakes
beautiful as they are
we seek the rounded meaning
and sharp graceful purpose

Layers of the people
in sweet pure servitude
ruled by draught pleasure
tranquility and convincing seasons

Renew us to what we once were
clean our eyes of pessimism resentment
lowly cynicism
That we might find and appreciate God as it is

that we may accept our lot by faith
the eternal struggle relaxed in our existence
We live here we die here we taste this food
prepared from divine sisters

sent from another galaxy to heal us
our festering wounds
our many lies we believe as truths
thus run us toward mild insanity

Regeneratio

 the dim and bright
something born into the world
waiting to form a personality
waiting to commit their quota of sin

Old broken church
conmen who thought they'd tricked God
The dry ground eating away at the surviving greenery
Noone gets away with anything

Music euphoria and simplistic thinking 
are no shield from divinity
Dim and bright
thrown into the world

unprepared for the depths of existence
sun lingers late afternoon 
Shadows of houses stretch across
out of shape resembling spirits

reaching for the horizon
Like desperate omens

Wistful feast of yesteryears

The taste of the years gone by memory shell
a banquet that's aftertaste eclipses reality itself
a mouthful devoted to the past with sublime care
the tongue wants to live before now somewhere

In the far reaches of sleep Memories steam
summer bays and hills and circuses delight dream
happy coincidences friendship seeds
that old aftertaste indeed

The deep longing you pretend you don't feel
your napkin stained from reminiscence meal
neon aura vibrating that first kiss
Precious times that once existed

Drenched in pining beloved moments that still burn
whispering at night how much you'd like them to return
The few strings of youth remain plucked in yearning
The music of your disqualified soul an LP turning

A mind obsessed with past eternalizing
a will's strength dedicated to memorizing
Taking alms from precious time dreaming
Wake now smile intact yet tears streaming

Animal of desire

 The light brown ground under these trees
damp almost orange hidden under fallen leaves
sticks and grass is the encolsure of the heart
A raw pasture for a thousand animals

each with a voice competing through one mouth
In the dry dusty and desolate naked roots sprawl
The throat attempts to utter one of the voices
The voice like the dog is ankle deep and stuck

in the soft clay at the base of this heart
each dog a person each person a dying voice
an attempt a pretend desire fleeing
then returning in panic

just to find itself mute
The ball is over
everyone has left
the clay floor sticky

A borrowed love for life leaves
the void has waited so long
people build a home in those empty wet clay hearts
everyone wants the same breed of lapdog

The heart an enclosure searching for the genuine article
often contented with 2nd hand ambitions
recommended wishes
invisible roads