The face loomed before me.
You are not good enough to recieve, it said.
Then repeated it.
Do you think you are entitled to anything in this life son.
They dug inside but couldn´t find any value
The face gets closer and says
You don't deserve this
You will be cut off
So cut off we are
Cut off we become
Are these people playing victim
Little price tag with the numbers rubbed out
A big zero
The helmet falls
i'm wounded
I sit by the woods edge
counting the seconds of life
Then blackness
Pulled away from one reality
sliding into another
far from the battle field
The last breaths dragging me back
between two realms
Then all at once flung between the line of life
Into full death
Into the other place whole and abandoned
sitting inside a tea colored cloud
swirling up around me
Whispering thousands of questions
Questions I myself might ask
Out of the corner of my life I caught an angel
It flashed into shape and light behind the smoke
Like a frog upon a rock
All purpose zero form
Just observing me observe it
The tea colored fumes dissipated
And the inquisition began
The smoke was comfort, the angel truth
From the corner of my eye
Feeling danger climb my spine
I liked the way God had arranged
the sun had colored skin
Innocent glances pulled my eyes back
known from another life
I kept trying
Afraid of saying too much
Divinity for a fool
Became a mystery
Mystery filled the space
But knowing should have been.
Couldn't bring you in
I am the imposter.
The fumbler
feeling may die
fantasy replaying week after week.
Eventually the feeling became strange,
Avoidance and ignoring
Heart beats smoother
when they once felt real.
Sometimes wonder
Broken
yet floating
a smooth nothing
An abandoned yaught
Hull crashed
Sea simulates emotion
But none here
Splinters are sanded down
Salt water makes each surface
Soft and indistinct
too smooth
false comfort
A bet against the psyche
When it plays grim tricks
upon the heart and mind
But its' all gone now
wave on wave the craggy is rounded and tasteless
like the padding on the inside of
The asylum
God said to me go and creat strange things of these dreams
So I set out and said yes
I launched myself from the oblivion of sleep
Into the port of the dream world
There I land from the empty skies
The meaningless waves rising from behind
I land in the color mix it with the blankness
Unleash the creatures and spirits
Until the land is thick with the wrything mess
The noise is the shore rock being torn up
the deafening crashing
Until the commotion bring a new world upon you all
He had pulled down a sticky bract of that cannabis
But the teacher had been watching the whole time
Now he would be expelled
But it was a beautiful day
Quite possibly the best ever
The teacher pulled him aside
Pulled the stinking bud out of his bag
Accused him of drug dealing on the spot
No more school excursion
No longer a student
Whatever he shoved down his pants
He would roll and smoke before he gave his parents the bad news
Inside their chosen party
What did they prove
Kids crowded around
stinking of fomo
And expensive perfume
There was an exclusive list
And even those kids were judged by their clothes
only the good ones could go through
The chatter rising and falling
The music coming on
The shade of competition
The glee at seeing some miss out
The rough bullying
The derision and laughter
Sense of unfairness
