Noone sees it
It's not real for their eyes.
It doesn't seem true, it seems a lie
Fiction painted into pavement like a shrine
A hat and a mut sorcery disguised
shrugging off the harsh sunshine
That energy living in the tree trunks
and ground's hard lumps
Yes indeed a fiction yet one that persists
More than what anyone believes exists
Only deep wonder that pools invisibly over a city
Not tangible embedded into street lichen
uneven shady and gritty
Compare each one
How they fit in the box
Desire memetic
subtle envy
Unknowing of your own wants
Of your own under the layer whims
Borrowing off others sense
From the collective
Offer the world what the world is
Simply trace over lines
follow directions
The only real you set inside your mistakes
I lost my hope at the central terminal
My ticket wouldn't pass
I couldnt sync the ticket with the airport code
I sat in the concourse pretending not to care
Hungry at the little food quart blinking takeaway lights
The hint smell of fat and frying meat
The knowing ones were already packed
The lazer light switched green for them
Off they flew to some other bubble
To speak like those people
To walk and eat like those ones do
Me, sitting starving for that variety
Soon they will expell me from here
Like family
Like school
And I'll have the empty pavement to myself
The smell of homeless urine
Uneaten charity meals
I'll make my way on foot
back to some shack
And people will go on being people
Ignoring me pretending they dont know me when im down
And congratualting me pretending they know me when I'm on
Asking me if I could validate my ticket
And I'll lie and say yes
And tell them I'll be on my way
They'll euphorically farewell me
avoiding me the next day
Windmill lodge by the lake
Maternalness long grass
Humid breeze
caravans under windmills
What part of my life demands this?
The long trip home that never comes
The reeds bump and whistle flute like
The water levels low
A vehicle arrives stones crunch
Back from the capital
I ask will you accompany me
You say you'll stay at the lodge
Watch the geese
The neighbors children
Irrelevant amenities
A quick road to obscurity
Each thread of the heart
Hardening into hollow chambers
rubbed by the breeze
playing like sad flutes
Take my hand
Wake from this bad dream
Because I can hear you wail in your sleep
All the way across the ocean
Blue shade of dog
Born to the dawn as if she were it's mother
Blue shade shirking off pre-sun glory
The never returning
The joke of time
The early bark
Canine rooster
Silence disturber
Grin licker
blue shade of dog yes
Sky submits morning
Sun arrival not yet
Dog hair and seconds in the breeze
Shades of blue interrupted by rough pygmy greys
In the shape of dogs who run toward where the moon haunted
Blue shade blue shade
Immediate dog
Slow becoming dog
The other side of the unconditional
is the slicing blade
Tearing the best part of you in two
Cutting into that pure heart
For in a world such as this
we demand much of ourselves
Thus seek pain
Kimberly organized the rooms
sense of duty keeps her sane
Moving room to room
doing the tasks she taught herself
For men they will just use and disappoint
They are deep down tyrants and abusers
They will keep you down
Patronize your good nature
Kimberly tucked in the sofa lining on that blue afternoon
She was my cousin and I loved her as a sister
Her mother interceded a few times
In which case she resisted
Turning back to her and correcting her
Mother would give up and make tea
Throw out some old english quote
That no feminist should utter
Yes inside every man is an epstein
You look at the guests greet the women
nodd the men in awkwardly
dastardly men
