Kingdom within

 Leave attachment
feel now 
I will now
 let go

 Feel my heart unclench
I the healthy child,
but held onto things. 
I let go.

Forgive the ones who hurt me
this extra energy
 administrate my own complex life
 it is not to be simple

 Love in a way that is mine to be.
 Forgive my assumptions
 build my patience and faith
give me permission 

 I open my hand
 let go of attachment
 you have graced me,
 if you see me fall- let me fall

 but give me a soft landing lord
 despite the hundred mishaps
 and bad aims and intentional bad desires
 oh bring me to myself

i will sit before me
 and pledge to let go of my attachments
 knowing tomorrow they will be at my door raving and merciless
  bless you because I know, no part of me or my existence is in vain

 otherwise I wouldn't be happy,
 and my truth is most days for most of the time,
 I enjoy and love this life fully
 reflect this joy back to me again

 like my child self smiling
 at my adult one,
 tragically unaware of what will befall him
 over the years

 but blissfully blessed
 with the flow and deeper wit of the universe.
 yes as the unpredictable wind or flash flood,
 let these good things come to pass

 let my doubt and lethargy dissolve
 with anything else toxic within
 If i could serve God and he wants in,
 he wants vitality for this adventure,

 he wants to stamp my passport for another 45 years of mischief
 come I am open.
 Come in the name of all that is holy
 let me do good work, 

 not just celebrate my own accolades.

The sensory Strom getting struck

 

On the mountain tip
Stimulation accumulates like a volcano

Rivers of molten rock rising
course toward the nipple erect
banging on every door
Jolting them, shaking hinges

This caress across the breast
ignites your ankle
My soft words inside your ear
grip and energize your hips 

I conjure a bolt of lightning through you
A hundred arousals boost and dissipate
Curve and curl through vein and muscle
Through hardnesses uninvited

Skin expresses tautness
Little sensors break through resistance
Thoughts go from inventing excuses
To justifying surrender

Rhythm thrives in the middle
Nudging and twitching sensitive nerves
Pressing in temporarily
The body prays for it to linger

But like an panicked lover it pulls out
It moves in again to reclaim 
Then perpetuates a riot of sensation.
It switches the mind and heart

Until you feel instead of think
Blown and burst over land blustery weather
Accumulating fluidity Strom quietly
Shattering like hail stones

Emotional and physical upsurge
You will swell up and give yourself over
Here is me putting every gram of my life force
Into breaking your perfect wave

Desires that separate

 My desires contrast
They scream at each other
They wear my patience down
Their voices are loud

They want separate things
They follow their own paths 
fueled by their individual curiosity
They don't care about me anymore

I should be the priority here
my balance my will and my control
Like teenagers they run away from home
Chasing these things far from the gates of reason

leaving burnmarks up the asphalt
Screaming through the predawn liminality
Scratching out their own transmutation far from me
BUT YOU MUST COME BACK

COME BACK BE WHOLE
STRAY NOT OUT
DIVIDE ME NOT
I... long to be integral

When love gets lost on the street

 Outer home love strayed
Strayed up where people compare
men who obsess about themselves
Looked for love

Gone down the industrial chimney
Those street men left pining
Their reason's cleaned out
Read their tears

Their lost favorite soft toy
Their mother threw out
In a flurry of sprucing
Something missing

Just taking the time to pine over it
That special emptiness testing the heart
The rest of the day seems redundant
The feeling heavy and glued

Then you find her again
innocent and carefree just being
You put it all back into your apartment
Keep it locked up like your precious heart

The fear of losing it all plays over again
smoke out that brick chimney
Glum street men's faces
A lost stuffed rabbit

Dentist and the dogs

The cosmos spewed up the dentist and the dogs
From out of the wilderness
They hack reality
Lazers and barking

Friends of friends
smooth land
smooth faces
secrets about life

Illumination
Fear of death
The dentist and the dogs
Manipulating perceptions

Polite but direct
The earth is no place to hide
No trench will give you cover
existence begs fire, fire

Soon I'll be outrageous

 Flood me because I am positively outrageous
I refuse to become creatively sterile
Refuse to set, to fossilize
Here there is no safety

Just trying to measure my own pulse
Inside Parallel and upside down
Gravity reverses I countdown to losing the earth
scratching those lines to mark each day inside my own skull

Can I shove my strangeness in your face
Is my silliness all exposed
Why don't we create a formula
get it approved and sent back

Stamped and blank and fresh and sheen
Look at my face straight smile skin clean
Now we can shake hands on normal terms
Except you are a real freak

I 'm the abnormal one but you are a freak
By reason of having your accidental beliefs own your mind
Nothing authentic pops out, it's just the gush of meme
The sewer outflow of cliche and popular slang old

So I talk about something crumbly in me
Ugly below and on the surface of me
 Trying to guess what the greater audience might enjoy
Then flushing it with bleach and all

 When it often works counter intuitively
I need to fill the toilet basin with stinkiest
Most horrid of stomach contents
And even then half of you aren't paying much attention

 I am risking less and farting on the page.
Not in air but in stinky little stains you can call words
 Id like to be more outrageous, catch up on the hatemail
Be more provocative

Create my own mottos that stick
my own repeating esoteric mischief
Thatch the kind of style that breeds envy among writers
 Sweet pondering in the reader

How we differ

 He packed up his things
He would be traveling to a different place
He was unlike me despite our similarities
His bags were put on the trolley

The plane would be leaving soon
We would see him off from the airport
There would be ample time for the goodbye
Where I thought i was the same as him I was different

In some cases I thought I was different from him
Mistaken I was the same
The real illusion wasn't about my father at all
But about the absence of self wisdom

Like sharks he needed to move nonstop
me, I could stay in place
But my words would have to move things
coming out in volume

breaking dams and overwhelming
Atleast that is the power I wish
He'd go from relaxing to full stress
breaking a vein on the forehead

This was blasphemy
flow was everything
slow smooth living is essential truth
I guess we are not the same