Purple screen

 She slowly pulled away like a flower you forgot to fertilize
She sunk into bathrooms and well glazed mirrors
Losing herself ever so slowly but eventually forever
Into the creams and recipes the methods and secrets

She went inside the ocean of it all
I couldn't follow her through it
The purple screen waving back at me
giving her last goodbye

the solid screen shut and all I took was memory
Who would i be without her
Just an observer not a liver of experiences
Was she my courage and gift?

Could I not be more unto myself without her
The iron patience of that woman
The grace others seldom notice
her secret smile that takes hours to unglue

The sophistication of the primitive

 At the french villa a wealthy father gave his son a yacht
One he would take to the Mediterranean
I told the son not to sail as he had never done it before
That he should learn first

I walked through the vineyard the random grapevines thick leaves
made me think of hands reaching out toward the constant changing seasons
They reneted out a huge part of their land for outdoor sports
Exclusive people would do their trekking and rock climbing

Up on a pass on the range far above the estate there was a cave
There we were to prepare a barbecue to symbolize the primal
Cousins and restless drunks arrived insisting on how to build kindling
I inched them out with a handy shard and lengthy knife

Then went about conjuring that sweet fire that turns the raw into cooked
I lost myself in the turning of meat in the bragging of colleagues
I lost myself in the madness of overdressed macho obtuseness
Tools and matches, soot and charcoal, we were primitive

On two wheels

 we arrived there just as the motorcycle broke
We had gear that was only sentimental
My heart went to a woman called Maira
She had arrived from the escalators and metro trains

Her mother had a project and everyone else had many needs
We took hollow twigs and attempted to build a nest
Temptations came in and out like a walking tv screen
We fixed her mother's leaky gutter and her smile shined

We put everything back on the motorcyle in perfect order
She went to the mall land to discover her past
I was sent careening into some old french villa
Where the winter wasn't as cold

Park weeds

 The weeds have grown a foot out of the pavement.
They wave me and wave me out.
They green and they seedy flower stout.
Their roots deep inside pavement cracks.

The road running poser never notices,
Or even looks back.
He doesn't thank God for this little park.
He just keeps running as if we cared.

The brilliant long blades of grass.
reach upward so gracefully.
But just so that my hands can pull.
That I can uproot them and throw them beyond.

So that the curb can be clear.
All the way down clean and ordered.
Oh my smile oh my relief.
Just getting it all smooth.

But I found it on the driveway

 I took the cellphone from off of the driveway,
I am a seven year old lost boy.

I cradled it carefully in my hands,
My new obsession, my new toy.

I hid for hours as mother cooked,
As brother studied his vengeance books.

I gleefully played with the screen,
checking apps feeling like a teen.

I hid it from every oncoming eye,
This would be purely mine.

A strange call came from up the street,
A child was going door to door.
Dread hit my heart and carried me.
It wasn't my phone I couldn't ignore.

I would have to give the thing over

Self Old Self Young

Self old= I told myself- There are so many things you need to improve on. It's been so long. where are you feeling most of your pain.
Self young= I'm not in pain.
Old -Then why are my memories so full of pain.
Young- Because you couldn't stand yourself.
Old- Why?
Young- You wanted to be good at everything, I wasn't ready.
Old- But that was you too, wasn't it?
Young- Only the part that eventually became you. The piece that no longer fits.
Old- So what is your current anxiety.
Young- You know what it is don't make me say it.
Old- Oh yeah then. Can I give you the guide then?
Young- You know I'll probably keep doing whatever feels right.
Old- Sure, we still do that sometimes.
Young- Okay say it.
Old- Cut all your peers off. Focus on clean friends, only one or two, tolerate their stupid jokes. Learn from them. Stay at your focus- writing and languages. Reading and maybe law. Stay away from drinking and smoking you will find out the only people who do that type thing arrive way later.
Young- what do you mean arrive?
Old- Get to your position of growth.
Young- Why is that important?
Old- Because you can stop trying and start doing. It works out real well. things become natural. Those jarring anxieties dissolve almost completely.
Young- Impossible!
Old- Certainly not impossible, as soon as you stop playing their game and start playing your own one, you will build mastery and you will know who you are.

All round suspicion

 If I empty the contents of my mind upon the page,
you read.
You might just blush and turn away from me.
I may not find you ever again, as you may avoid me, like you do the rain.

Those turns of the head and eyes that suspect.
These things smooth out with everyday respect.

I don't want to let the fit of your disguise interrupt what is happening.
The day you dream bubbled in fear- don't reach out and tap me.

Let me be appropriate and tell you what is true.
Life is full of choices and if the current ones fell through.
Then you gotta reconfigure and let in the new.

Who will love you thoroughly later.
So in need of a stimulator.