Because sometimes I saw you, and a simple innocent grace leapt into me,
Tearing my heart apart when all I wanted was connection.
The invisible wall between us was built from shame and expectation.
I pretended I knew how you tasted on my tongue, how you felt beneath me,
But it was all something I had brewed for months inside my head.
Too much sugar, not enough yeast.
I wish my eyes were better at hiding what flowed through them unhindered.
I checked the iron that surrounded us.
Just to see if it had cooled,
But it was still red hot.
There was nowhere to hide as you arrived and as I left.
You read my face, my feelings disclosed.
I pretended to walk away confidently, head high,
But I was still unsteady,
Because even an ounce of your grace weighed on me,
Affecting my ability to leave cleanly.
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