Deeply troubled

 I am deeply troubled
I love myself for this
Pushing against life
Reacting on a rumour

Obsessing about baseless musings
Nothing to possess
nothing to embrace
The beauty of the day only

Joking with me
About how seriously I took it all
Bursts of rolling laughter
Each burst an unfinished life

hundreds of them
Each one a window sill
I sit next to every single one
As I look at the world

Each forgotten fragment
A code of the energy I am
I am deeply troubled
nearing neurotic

God thankyou for this state
This boiling puddle I am
The traversing current
This total lack I am blessed to be