Self doubt speaks to me as if we are friends

 You read these words and old leather cases full of obsolete verse
Useless fucking gimics that go nowhere
That attempt art and just crash into your resistance
Your belief that these words have no meaning is valid

There is no function
it is a teenage boy with a body of a ninety year old
These are the crumby chalky over exaggerated words you can expect
you read this garbage, I cannot comfort you as you have nothing better to do

There is no deeper message here the whole distillation
expresses just one foul truth about my work
A total lack of faith in the human spirit
What's worse is most of these prose don't even rhyme

Some old critic would highlight this but I got to get read first
People trip over this blog by accident
I harvest numbers through these lost searches
Isn't that just a delicate definition for life a lost search

Predictable dreary four lined stanzas that act self aware
build themselves into routine like latrines getting dug with letters
And the obvious long periods of sitting and filling them 
My words are feces you are welcome

My computer insists im tired
God points his finger and says stay in your lane
But is it him or just this pasty pesky fucking mess society
I wish i could climb it all and blow fire down it

But all I got are these childish words that don't get read
Messages that never get understood
Maybe ill just read it all back to myself
like a raving schizophrenic

Because there is no other use for it all
Cultivate a little sympathy from the bleeding hearts
for shipwrecked men who cannot see the horizon
writing in long lines just to build bridges toward it

Parts of it fall away and no one sees the sharks edging in
To take a limb or my whole life
This should be where you stop
If i was on this page behind your eyes right now

Oh I'd have quit, You can't get what you want
Neither can I ever...
Reading all the way down here won't resolve anything new
It's going to get painful and inconvenient

Step off i tell you as you insist flicking over these cheap twists
theres no genius here, no fine mastery
you've gone and stumbled on a fool
Pushing a boulder up a mountain

just to have it roll over him
With the inertia of self doubt
With all the eyes telling me no
pointing out my weakness

caging them and creating a petting zoo with it all
Yes don't mind me
As I attempt to release them all
As they are mocked from a safe distance

What are you all searching for
One obese cliche
cut open and bleeding nostalgia on your upholstery
My word bacteria getting all over your open sore

You did it didn't you, I told you not to
almost at the bottom of the page, yes that rock bottom
Abandon all hope and slogans of such genres
ease into this despair as you do old wet clothes

Succumb for down here the air clicks with an otherworldly sense of emptiness
The true crushing sensation that the mouth will no longer taste flavor
Neither skin sensation, words here lose their meaning
They only seem to collide with outside derision

Down here gravestones melt and my true nature rises
A gargantuan amphibian that will devour you all whole
Digesting your eyes for a millenia
Slipping back into the flood waters fat and satisfied

Until I realize I'm back down in these relentless words
That must be born and live on these fucking pages
taking everything from me
and now probably taking something from you too.