Never understood why
This pain found a home in my heart
I followed it, it followed me
Along the pavement in the light of day
Up the sidewalk where magic moved
through limbs and grace
I followed it, then it stopped following me
I never understood how this pain
made a home in my heart
Making me believe, definitively,
that everything I lusted after
was something I never deserved
No matter how much desire
overruled my existence
I couldn't claim that one thing
And I followed it and it followed me
The pain that made a home inside me
kicking up trouble in my impulses
driving me to perform beyond my capacity
to show off like some insecure kid
I never understood why it had such a pull
Those lips, those eyes,
the pretty way the hips bounce down the street
After a few months
the pain was evicted
But the void remains
sitting there, ready
for the next fantasy
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