on the hill lies the roundabout
I climb the hill in an old car
Winding around the verge
looking for something eyes can't see
no noses smell
I crossed the terrace
where the caves meet
the stream flowing out
purified people didn't mind getting wet in the cold water
it must have been blessed
and they celebrated letting a limb slide in
My eyes searched the small creek bed for gold
The treasure i sought misplaced in my heart
Neglect set in after a few years
to be the lost item
somewhere nobody looks
Noone would embrace
The child left in the skip
of a heartbeat
to the phantoms of circumstance
good intention is not a cheese
a toxic mould though
that chokes us broken soul
trying to keep up inside the forest
you leave us in there
now we are gone
forgot our names
forgot our voices
relief from our mistakes
we are the children
the children of abandonment
good intention your furry heart warming box of excuses
leaving them behind like old furniture discarded
cracked mirrors of your very own image
of every angle that shapes how one feels as a mistake
The rejection of that deep love, that responsibility
The blindfold one wears is not a cape of invisibility
a strange machine awaking to a world too disinterested
therefore rusting as tears form highways across the young
and clueless hopeful face
The children thrown out of somewhere
Where none may see
To be abandoned so very betrayed
treated with indifference
the same as a stray
fortitude build them up
to rule the world one day
I am ship wrecked on the angled grey peebled shore
stuck up there so far
the next tides won't pull me back in
hear the low humm of my pain
so I am here clumsy but stately
strangely off angle yet perfectly pointing back
to those sinsterly white english cliffs
stationarily insane
Speaking to the gulls with my sails
telling them of my years at sea what I sought out
some of them just smirk beaky cheek now
Likea smile riding the riptide up a seven foot wave
curling in derision's blasting grace
so my wood dries
I feel the keel deep under these stones
longing to drag it all back into the water
to feel the freedom chaos and aimless passion
of the sea
I feel the tips of the low waves lap
like an invitation I had from a false friend
longing to see me dive headfirst into protruding rocks
that my gore would entertain for enough minutes as
it would take them to find the new victim
alas such ones drowned now as the sail kicks up
Oh Im grinding back into the froth
My structure sound and tough
exiting the nightmare of the land
to be lost once more on the meer the mar
the ocean that has almost no end
I saw the farce of a person
the sun swollen in his eyes
fear blended into thick sweat
grass seed hanging in the crusts of his hair
he has trespassed lighter and jerry can
what a beast awaits within me
For I walk the streets
the air speaks to me
fragrance misunderstood unbelieved
This world you look down on
will turn upside down for you
I saw the false christian
out early to burn forests
the back draft carried him inside
to feel the flame for a few seconds
on his soft pink trechery for skin
I saw the new decade the new century
brotherly time leaking mysteries into my current perception
The swamp comforted me
the little water stopped it from being engulfed
I see the weak legs of the laggard
the easy ignorance that you pick up everyday with
as I pick up a blade
For I have no more voice to even shout
i'd rather hear you gurgle
while I bleed you out
for the forest here is sacred
I must commit you to its roots
as I do my humble self to the eternal
the sick may only be cleaned
with their own flame and sharp machinery
The living God surrounds me in nature
he whispers my will
he owns my heart
The very truth he converts to the seasons
blessing and cursing
destroying and creating me a new
thus the tragic death of an arsonist
gratitude to the faith of the eternal life
leave your car and take this other one
The highway is clear
my fists hurt from fighting
what a heart God sculpted in me
big and longing to filled
but not so much for joy or love
a heart so polished
Just ambition
Like the fat boy over moscow
Passion hard and terrifying
Melting me
melting the city
molding us into one
oh the urgency for sweet war
a glutten before the smorgasbord
gripping my arms to embrace it all
Gripping my train of thought and my swollen tongue
betraying me subterfuge to fuse to use
a ruse to explode
to harm to orgasm beyond the subtle limit of my trembling soul
look at my face as I fly over head
just enough oxygen to burn the city alive
Thank that God for the way it built my heart
is it the very same God as yours
the mere interpretation Old force fed scripture
I need the gas so i can keep the party on the road
the rules on the poor
my paws on this load
The soil a slave
the rare shock off your beautiful face
twist to disgust just as we discussed
oh the fire is over us all
the inconvenience of consequence
here to revisit it's will on of all of us readily de ja vu sip
Starting with me then those of true belief
and the next naiive
who helped extinguish it all
this great sculpture that pumps me alive
extinguished silent
empty muscle
Neurotic point alone
he was tripping on his own
overwhelming sense of grandeur
avoiding his own defects the same
like a kid in a racing videogame
Elegant blindness and self distorting
your behaviour quaint and conforting
far off unexpected places chomping at the bit
districts in hell yet to visit
inside the heart one person pushes the other out
a merciless squeeze a seemingly endless argument
people think themselves singular free of torment
never realize themselves the punishments they invent
to serve in heaven or in hell
no strings to hold your soul up well
rubbing off on the walls of existence
such bloody spiritual pillage
Oh To be willingly sold away across the sea
to another land as if purposefully I defy
Oh the glint and wink of the interloper's eye
and suddenly the ear hears foreign goodbyes
the tongue becomes shaped to speak
and the customs of a different people
become the closest I keep
threading a new shirt enough clothes
learning a new craft as demanded
to be useful in an unknown land
where the jungle shade and mud that sink
have aromas uncommon and distinct
Where I walk in public a spectacle forever
Grins from mouths who've known severance
briefly grin before carrying on their daily care
The sun pats me on the back twice as hard here
does that mean God loves me more heed
I dearly say it does indeed
and the littered streets and strange optimistic teeth
in smiles that barter the prices sweet
learning a new craft was such a feat
a space in the dinky market to sell wares
Sew gossip and old yarns from thin air
To forget the old world and its false cares
Speak of the dragon
the incarnate
oh the burning sacred paper
with which they printed the scripture
they seek forgiveness from a church
God has already sent the burning man
elonquent in hearts and minds
a tempered dragon sparing us
and destroying some with utmost discretion
the endless hope of the masses feeding the fuel
in it's throat it feels wells and bursts
as flint from teeth spark
grin cheers the annihilation
Son I grant thee forgiveness in this dragon fire
the figurative bread you give up as your own form
a piece of Godliness catch a light and carbonize
wash yourself in flame we do appeal
dreams are brought to the forefront of your mind
to be tried on their merit and condemned to darkness or to light
distractions harvesting your patience and virtues
open hands to the dragon and let go
the ever consuming fire leaps upon you like a morbid electric tiger
and teeth gnash constantly to the speeding heartbeat raptured by flame
you the baby the blaze your teet vice hits senses undeniable heat
wash your conscience
confusion deep
from upon the guzzling fizzling embers
is an eternal stomach a metaphor here
yet far under the basement horned beings are razed
reborn and guided as if destruction was earned and attained
Tony I see you play
tired eyes and voice carry
the guitar away
Tony ragged hair falls from the brow
something in the cauldron of the heart
gaelic and bruised
Fingers wrap and strum
flick and pinch the strings
so that ears like these we wear
can get a burst
carrying that guitar away
Tony I see you play
tired face haunts hands grip
the hidden beauty of chords
some spell in the lyric order
the road was alive with electric ghosts
spinning out of control
hunted down like stray animals
Squeezed into the side table
focusing and compounding
silent prayers
now the object is still
yet brimming with energy
magnetic and vicious
holding up a table cloth
coughing sparks and electric arcs
burning the carpet
feels like an esoteric healing
a soul in a box
transforming the outer layers into human flesh
where the inner layers consume the prior inhabitants
silent prayers and overcharged stares
looking right through the neighborhood
building little boxes for each house
so they might come alive too
He was just a head on the table
chewing food and no body to injest it
what a lucky eater eating forever
satisfied look, asking for the next mouthful
huge panels hung up behind the party goers
exhibiting the hellish battles yet to come to pass
a few years from now
we all gather round the table
to convince the few how we might destroy
and yet survive
The head on the table just keeps eating
when the mouth is finally empty
the mouth is begging for the next mouthful
we all bring bowls of food
for this human head on the table
it's like a hobby
it was a promotion
a blindfold nice
paying far too much
they approach us cheerfully
the facilities are incredible
They had the most attractive girl
offer me the contract
smile and hand offered
Without a shadow or a flutter
the building flexed bulged and muttered
turning to grin at me and invite me in
The structures sound and spacious
these people persuasive and insistant
offering the world
then excluding it in the small print
feigning surprise
the streets are danced upon by denialists
with overpriced clothes and personal stylists
all signed over to the long shadows
of these boutique box like warehouses
Into the market
huge cask boxes full of wares and eats
gloomy corridors and halls strewn with semi interested
hopeful potential customers
the great market
a body spreading out over s district
walled in by fancy giftshops
fond hearts orbit
friends approach the main road
thick with traffic horns and bickering
as the bus leaves some panic
it has it's own lane
the car won't start
wishful thinking becomes abrasive
Handbrake and gear stick goat
heat inside the car sickly sweet
the dip in the road
both the slide down
the climb up
illusions of satisfaction
The stationary traffic
calms nerves as you crack the window
and glance over at the overloaded road
neither you nor those cars are moving
Waikanae
The child between the horror and hanger
The umu and the peka
The mungatooks and Hemi matenga
Elizabeth is her root
From ill attempts at competition
right betwen the hills of heaven
Trashy pine and eucalypt dance
embedded into the native expanse
summers mild short sweet like half gas on element
Nostalgia on sunday past screams to stay relevant
not quite loud enough to wake the inhabitants
grandchildren and grandparents peep out
smokey chilly early winter evergreen and moss
spring thaw still rehearsing for stubborn frost
Sun held back by the tall poppy fume exaust
franchise shops and salvation budget cost
sand too light brushes knees till sore
soil so fertile the greenery flaunts
The southerly taunts
encourages a saunter
sunset over kapiti provoking thoughts
each day waves and gale yet such a happy glare
on the beach how has the fisherman fared
in small boroughs well tuned lawnmowers blare
Dawn is breaking over the sky
night broken away and awry
The land frozen bare and empty
no longer flooded just devoid
air is heavy
Inside the weave of the forest brush work
a complex code surreptitiously lurks
activating life from whence none might grow
from the darkest holes with the faintest glows
we brought them in off the street
humans often seem sickly sweet
just watch how fast the dessert melt hones
We put in extra beds to put up these vagabonds
they made themelves at home in a split second
before long we were over run by their friends who beckoned
just getting them to leave seemed a professional undertaking
take courage until they are done invading
we made the beds and helped them prepare for sleep
Adult children overlap our own nauseating shortcoming vexations
From an epoch like a throne deflating oncoming generations
aggrandizers broke these little toys
These young with no vocation nor virtue
Who smirk darkly at their own weight in burden
knowingly aware of just how they occupy hinder and trouble
despite affluence these young ignore bricks and hug rubble
doubling down into their subtle self destruction
good cop bad cop parents ashamed reach for blackmail
The abundance didn't heal alas it maimed they flail
spindley youth unchallenged and pale
An incredible measuring stick for one's own patience
an extremely convincing smile camouflaged and fallacious
some bribables or considerable pocket change application
and skill at informal slang laced persuasion
The pariah wakes empty
as he slept dreamless
his face begs attention support
expecting the world offering his void
The line was taut
something was on the line
Rushing down the rod was given to me
I pulled it in with all my might
we believed it was a shark
as the fin protruded from the water
I reeled it in as fast as possible
excitement forearms
The sun was trapped in the bay
The fish surfaced yet not a shark
take care when you bring it in
short tailed mackarel
Muddy water fussing with the sun
rolling in the subtle saltwater rapids
tides slowly moving into the clefts in the land
My hands hold up the fish shaking in reverance
Taking the fish off the line
release the fish back into that muddy water
walls all covered in writing
a human wants to know themselves
in such a rush they throw meaningless graffiti
onto the walls and simplify the franchise
same homely colored appettite brick
same shape bench same logo tongue licks
just another take on a popular hamburger
and what's between your bread
as you take your paper bag back home
devouring some mince from a grill
slurping from some oversized sickly refill
Observe the car lot from the windowsill
oozing ketchup interrupts your speech
back you go hunger the hunger underneath
need for inclusion eroding your individuality
Lifes a queue a drive thru mediocracy
pushing open those thick doors
placing the order beside a quick interaction
is your identity here?
you check the room
neutral pulls off cool but its faking
you can't do it, this soup has cooled
noones eating it
they want burgers
energy drinks with bright happy brands
slogans piled up so high the volume
makes you really sit and thickly ponder
on the value for money is there a number
mouthwatering walls describe ingredients
inside the fastfood shop to the jingle tune
Your well decorated kindergarten classroom
doesn't a piece of you fall into the grinder
taken away to be consumed digested and excreted
I look up toward her from my place on the hill
she looks at me as if she doesn't even recognize
and thus far this has been the pedigree
never to give away grimace nor glee
Were I not even offspring in the brood
initiative absent my irregular way and mood
greatness latent to me so long after your death
yet here you stand afore me entire afresh
Tiny Tones of blue highlight her face almost unseen
Her laughter silent
And I an infant to witness
all of her privations
As midnight approaches
I can see her amply
the aura of a god or a queen
glorious on ths hill above me
were I not even part of this brood
so dedicated to all of you
Though I see myself a mere hatchling
lacking the vigor you so long to see in me
No hint of mercy
compassion has left her skin
abandoned her heart
restlessness has dimmed
Authority in her eyes
she has pointed us to the present day
like clumsy lost caravels
ridiculously clinging to the waves
I looked through the concrete
There it stood she stood Clear
her art outshone our perceptions
the cosmic chess player moving reality
In the basement
half filled with water
the figurines of superheroes
surged up like fizz
The Nanny lorded over these waters
and in the darkness she would wail
baby mice crawling up the walls
tickling themselves on the rough brick
she told those old legends
about the child eel that became an adult
growing wildly strong and massive
from feeding off the cattle
Then to avoid the ensuing storm
entered the ugly gash inside the building
to thresh about in the slowly rising waters
That would accumulate and become the nanny itself
The steps to the basement
were litttered with pets food bowls
Above a house full of roosters
bragging until the fire lit
Nanny controlled the whole mess
even the crytpic ghosts that surfaced from the water
ascended the stairs and traumatized the spoilt children
cloning itself and occupying several rooms simultaneously
Rumours and mysteries that the onlooker could not glean
even from looking under the cracked paint on the external walls
the soup forming its own acidic foam in the basement
the eery silence of the entire structure
only to burst into movement and sound as the living things came alive
from the sloppy pond inside the basement
