Otaki spreads over
Stands next to the old caravan
Next to the brick wall of the house
Showing his yard
Pebbles on the driveway
Leaves on the hedge
squints across eyes and brow
Roof eave relief
Michael nodds toward the river
behind his house
Every corner of man's existence
The holder of dreams
The shed full of tools
The covered area, bikes and lawn mowers
Hidden from the rain
Expand then implode
Slowly overload
repeat in cycles
Never trying to get to know
The repetition
That hides in your psyche
The routine is sandpaper with a dumbell attached
The reoccuring thoughts slip back into the same turning wheel
Hitting monday, accelerating and heating up the week
Same predictable arguments circling round
Same sense of lost progress or missed adventure
Same low stakes game of emotions
Expanding and imploding
Slowly overloading
The pain somewhere far back
Trust broken or a species of betrayal
It's like seeing the portrait from a far
Then peeking in close and realizing
Someone inside the brushstrokes was injured
One of those long overpowering injuries
That takes decades to heal
Maybe that person deserves more
The men that framed it were hated
And perhaps those who happen upon it
Staring at it's anthropomorphic nature
It's mesmerizing feminine hostility
As the color fade let it and it's evocative corporeal figues heal
A slow long cure that contrasts with the aggressive needs
Of a fast chaotic fomo filled present
Where atention buys more than money
To ashes with my own interpretations
Maybe this piece of art will go on to value more in the future
Or maybe it will see zero value in anyone
I refuse to be the critic
A leaf of relief
getting on getting on
Childlike somewhere nearing thirty
but I keep imagining
Fueling the ridicule
Shattering my confidence
Keeping me where I am
Who should know better
I should
The older one
The leaf dries and burns
scorn in those eyes
The streets are quiet
gravity sets in
nothing seems to bounce anymore
The gumball machine is full
take a quarter stick it in the slot
Listen to the coin register and fall in
then turn the cap and watch the gum ball come out
In the big globe you try to figure out
Where the sweet disappeared from
Eyes search, the little red balls aren't talking
The bulb keeps you dumbfounded gawking
You put it in your mouth and chew
The dry parts wrinkle up then soak saliva
The sugary flavor peels off and radiates
You smile and forget where the ball was hiding
pull another quarter out of the pocket
Metal to the slot nothing to stop it
They split into groups
Measures and loupes
They knew it all
Photos on a wall
All the smartest
detective artists
For me twas just a blank surface
I just made them nervous
They would hunt the killer
I found the whole thing thrilling
And follow the clues
Look for what was true
I would try to be included
Without imposing rudely
If only they'd let me be part
I couldn't get my start
For they cut me off
Told me to get lost
They silenced me
Did as they pleased
And they searched and searched
Their mission cursed
Communicating with each other
Comforting one another
with ridiculous opinions
Unable to truly listen
I followed them room to room
Where so many met their doom
How can I make myself seen
How they pose and boast and preen
Sleuths looking for this illusive killer
No witness left alive to spill it
Their self satisfied smiles as they study a new clue
Yet it's back to the drawing board anew
I tried to intervene and again I am thrown out
Showing them solutions to their doubts
So I watch from a far, the edge of the forest
Where I always was, the pariah the pest
On a badly dug mound silty and shoddy
where I buried all of those bloody bodies
He chews those ants and scorpions
Big heads and fangs no care
Forraging underground lairs
Long tree rooted roads
Sprints before the sun bears
Before commute coach loads
Before dew hisses blow
or frost melt flows
He runs after the escapers
The groups hiking between peaks
In the grandest green chasm of the valley
With their little sacks, hope, they sneak
Yet my dog comes sprinting their track
He bites into an achilles and the scarpers
Their journey slowed with no way back
I instruct the bandeira to powder arcabuz
My dog comes back a man's blood on his snout
Grins on the faces reflected in sharp terçados
Will I take it all with my hound clout
My incompetent rowdy bloodthirsty band
Total victory is measured plain and bland
I claim Sesmaria,
My land loving soul demands
