Void at the gate

 I lost my hope at the central terminal
My ticket wouldn't pass
I couldnt sync the ticket with the airport code
I sat in the concourse pretending not to care

Hungry at the little food quart blinking takeaway lights
The hint smell of fat and frying meat
The knowing ones were already packed
The lazer light switched green for them

Off they flew to some other bubble
To speak like those people
To walk and eat like those ones do
Me, sitting starving for that variety

Soon they will expell me from here
Like family
Like school
And I'll have the empty pavement to myself

The smell of homeless urine
Uneaten charity meals
I'll make my way on foot
back to some shack

And people will go on being people
Ignoring me pretending they dont know me when im down
And congratualting me pretending they know me when I'm on
Asking me if I could validate my ticket

And I'll lie and say yes
And tell them I'll be on my way
They'll euphorically farewell me
avoiding me the next day

Quaint languid nightmare

 Windmill lodge by the lake
Maternalness long grass
Humid breeze
caravans under windmills

What part of my life demands this?
The long trip home that never comes
The reeds bump and whistle flute like
The water levels low

A vehicle arrives stones crunch 
Back from the capital
I ask will you accompany me
You say you'll stay at the lodge

Watch the geese
The neighbors children
Irrelevant amenities
A quick road to obscurity

Each thread of the heart
Hardening into hollow chambers
rubbed by the breeze
playing like sad flutes

Take my hand 
Wake from this bad dream
Because I can hear you wail in your sleep
All the way across the ocean

Blues shade of dog

 Blue shade of dog
Born to the dawn as if she were it's mother
Blue shade shirking off pre-sun glory

The never returning
The joke of time
The early bark

Canine rooster
Silence disturber
Grin licker
blue shade of dog yes

Sky submits morning
Sun arrival not yet
Dog hair and seconds in the breeze

Shades of blue interrupted by rough pygmy greys
In the shape of dogs who run toward where the moon haunted

Blue shade blue shade
Immediate dog
Slow becoming dog 

Thus seek pain

 The other side of the unconditional 
is the slicing blade
Tearing the best part of you in two
Cutting into that pure heart

For in a world such as this
we demand much of ourselves
Thus seek pain

DIY because men are no good

 Kimberly organized the rooms
sense of duty keeps her sane
Moving room to room
doing the tasks she taught herself

For men they will just use and disappoint
They are deep down tyrants and abusers
They will keep you down
Patronize your good nature

Kimberly tucked in the sofa lining on that blue afternoon
She was my cousin and I loved her as a sister
Her mother interceded a few times
In which case she resisted

Turning back to her and correcting her
Mother would give up and make tea
Throw out some old english quote
That no feminist should utter

 Yes inside every man is an epstein
You look at the guests greet the women
nodd the men in awkwardly
dastardly men

After the street rally

 Picking the plants out of the trash
Repotting them
and giving them a second chance
To grow again

Sweeping the soil off the road
and joining the roots
Inside the container 
It is safe again

awaiting water
And the new bed to lie on
slowly rise up toward light source
From broke and flimsy on the concrete

I have prepared a place where you might bloom
Where you'd use every element in the soil
Come out to the world as something unique
Flush and vibrant 

The company logo

 Egos drive games
Girl drives the men crazy
Organizes the games
She handles you door 3 inches open

The event itself 
My father bellows
The short man does well
Colored rug sewn with logos

Girl sews one more on
If she ignores you
You've blown your chances
My father and her lift the blanket

The thread intact
energy is in excess
some of it flows into the sewer
Euphoria and games

Egos run high
The blanket resembles a flag
An obsession with logos
With pep in the step slogans