Even snuffed out again

 To question is brilliant.
 I would be relieved.
 I don't know if god
 will give me this

 but if God does
I'll be relieved.
 I'll feel whole.
 I'll change.

  it will sculpt me.
Why do i talk about god here?
 Because i cannot control this
, and not having what i want.
not having god give me everything makes me love.

 I don't know why
 but his pain is merciful.
 the pain i sometimes feel allows me to understand
 the world the way I am supposed to see it.
 I would be filled with love.

 I think i would want to cry
 if she gave life
 I would want to celebrate,
 even if again that life was snuffed out. forgive me

The enemies and their purgatory

 Satelites

My enemies came buying their identity

I have nothing for you here

Read into this- your disease will never be mine

You find yourself contagious but i'm not susceptible

These two men and their mothers

I am not responsible for their rotten baggage

I cannot haul it for either of you

Not even while you rest

So sit down chug your feed

Count your blessings
Scheme your schemes
be on your way

These lines of land are mine|

They go around and around

Between them you get caught up

Just training for purgatory
I haven't got the equipment
I cannot divide my time

So walk on into the horizon

i am not the light you seek

I do not desire a sophisticated betrayal

When i see what I have planted 
a centimeter higher than last year
Well I give my soul to God all over

and he gives me another year to look on

No solution for your mess

No opiate or weakness to exploit

So onward to limbo
I cannot validate your steps
Your tiny shifts toward evolution

Your awkward excuses

semblances of regret

I will not be your father

For you will not be guided by me

Round earth

You will be back here soon enough, you'll see

The cornwall rocks

 I lost my life not far from the sea oh so ghastly
Near estate pasture land, soul breath over the blades of grass
Following breeze as it combs through his essence lost within 
My killer was the housemaid from the mansion

She hovered over my body
Blade in hand head still nodding
Drops of blood off knife
Last seconds of life

She placed small volcanic rocks over my body
She danced over the boulders blood wanting
Midnight's tide churning somewhere nearby
Through crevices of the coast sighing

Cloud hides moon so there were no witnesses
she ran barefoot into the pasture brazenly
In that grass, which no animal ever grazed
Spirit trapped under rocks now emerging
Calling her lythe body to come to me
My message caught her like boomerang runes
Cloud moved away showing her to the moon

Illuminate her path back where my body rests
Sky became clearer exposing the midnightness
The sense of guilt in her steps to ground of murder
Witness to the ghost I am occuring now to her
Asking her back to embrace me once more
She looked at the bloody knife and listened
Still in her stained hands glistening

She rubbed it off on the grass and stopped dancing
Turned and attempted to run back toward the mansion
As her feet moved forward the land moved back
She remained in place near where my rock cracked
The whole field lit in pale hues by a midnight moon
She continued running but her position didn't move
The long pines laughed as the wind threw them around

whispering between owl hoot and crashing wave sounded
No shortcuts in life or death, no straights in a world so round...

Stubborn dignity

 She bounced down the road,
advancing up the far side.
Deliberately ignoring me,
Each cute stride up and down on her calves.

 Like the world existed only for her.
 Her long brown hair swung in unison
 with her jumpy strides,
 Her restless rhythm infects me,
 Her posture compound signaling stubborn dignity,

Shoulders back, chin just slightly raised.
Every movement was an elaborate snub,
Emphasis that I didn’t matter.
Her desire for adventure almost provokes curiosity,

like a duchess spilling her good self over the pavement

Confiscating the sun

 The rains are here again
Goddess doesn't play
The drops tell me 
in their slang and sway
To go back inside rethink
Forget about movement
have a warm drink

Sun has been confiscated
Goddess put it away
Dreary outside
Thick cloud harsh grey
Somewhere on her shelves
Behind her forbidden veil
Sits the sun, sassy Goddess and her day wall

As chuvas estão aqui de novo
A Deusa não brinca
As gotas me dizem
em sua gíria e balanço
Para voltar para dentro, repensar
Esquecer o movimento
Tomar uma bebida quente

O sol foi confiscado
A Deusa o guardou
Triste lá fora
Nuvem espessa, cinza dura
Em algum lugar em suas prateleiras
Atrás de seu véu proibido
Está o sol, a Deusa atrevida e sua parede de dias

The 3am animal

 The face looked at me in darkness

In it's mind it was deciding whether to bite me

Teeth were bared

eyes fierce

It came close to my face

Growling insanely in the blackness

It offered me dread

I couldn't feel it

It insisted

I couldn't feel the fear

I personally wanted to devour the animal

To tear it's throat

Ritually howl as it bled out on my bedroom floor

I would turn off my alarm heat the pan

skin the beast

early breakfast

The day rash

 Inhabits the skin
 It hurts and it bleeds
 It is open to infection

 It is marking me
 Blotchy, it slowly expands
 it itches and irritates

 It gets sticky
 In the morning
 Its moist in the evening

Bandages didn't work
It needs the open air
It needs to be seen

I see it scabs
hopeful dryness
Only for it to weep by dusk