I go to the mountain

 I want to know what is essential for life.
To be tested in a life of full.
On the mountain side where silence is the truest friend
Wrapping me in stillness in cold

granting me permission to reach myself again
By the exposed rocks I trace the summit 
The hardness of their surface
The coldness of it

My boot leaves holes and prints in the snow
I look aimless
Yet I know where my wandering legs go
even as the frosts press down

I want to know how the mountain talks
How it looks into me
What it learns from my presence
what I can learn from its

Afternoon tea at Yusupov's

 Do sit down my chap.
Take a piece of this Medovik cake.
Check out the view from here.
look at the birch totally stripped.

Look me in the eye Greg.
Take this chalice of pontic wine.
Tell us of your visions.
Your close call at Pokrovskoye.

 We'd like to offer you a piece of our wealth.
A piece of our land inheritance here.
If you'd just retire out here.
What do you say?

We'd hate to see misfortune befall you.
Especially after all you have given up.
Sometimes we have to make calculating decisions.
You have a holy a mission?

We might have to reconsider your right to live.
Can you see the Malaya Neva.
Imagine your corpse floating down there.
Separated from that powerful spirit.

No more sorcery!

Executive woman

 Always movement, never stays
The power of ten people
Keep going her mind says
And she moves through the world

She pours faith into her heart's cup
Her patience never dwindles
Crossed the sea to set herself up
No man can get in the middle

Her gargantuan drive
Robust form, beauty of woman
On God and ambition thrives
Higher than the common

Duchenne smile
Duchenne eyes touching the spirit of the onlooker
Strength unseeable
pleasant yet underneath disagreeable

Ex sepulcro tuo me audi

You were buried under a manuka tree.

 Your grandchildren decorated the tree.

 with christmas ornaments.

 I guess they miss you madly.

 I still think of you,

 whenever I'm out there acquiring pieces for my future.

 Moving forward the way you used to.

 I only wanted to show you what kind of wealth and lifestyle i could carve out.

 Here I am still struggling to make you proud.

 But you are six feet under and never to rise or connect with me again.

 I saw you attempting to stay active before your death.

 The way life seemed to keep you limited to your spot.

 I would have lifted you up old man.

 I didn't want your money i wanted to make my own.

 I wanted to know how to take on the world the way you used to.

 When you were still in this world old pal.

 Ex sepulcro tuo me audi! Ut mundum superem.

 You made so much of it look simple.

 What was the point?

 I always wanted the truth.

 I didn't know the world was as painful as this.

 That I had to leave my home, my country,

 Because I felt welcome nowhere.

 Because I couldn't fit in anywhere. 

 So I want twice that which i can tangibly take!

 So whoever you helped create,

 that is who I have finally become.

 With twice your hunger. Ut mundum superem. Territory.

Rebound forwards

 I ran on these legs and strengthened these legs
Oversized sense of drive
An electricity moving through me

I recut the tread
Invested my heart and mind
Melted the ice with my hot flesh

I'll be fucked if I'm giving up any time soon
I can see it in the crystal the dullarfullr runes
Reinvigorate myself directly up to the sun

Through my conviction that this whole road unfolds toward one divine destiny

I poured the minerals into myself
killed my vices and strengthened my muscles
I dragged my youth back to me with a steel hook smelted through wisdom

Packed my essence with the essential clairvoyance every angel or demon...
emerging from the chasm of my own heart.

Take for granted

 You take your knees for granted.
The big rubber wheels.
The bank account gets taken for granted.
It's slowly slid past into the negatives.
A blizzard blight on it.

Take your health for granted.
You forgot exactly where you kept that essence.
The big MRI levers going to save you.
Redeem you back to where you once were in your youth.
But you took your memory for granted.

Took it all for granted the very brain you think with.
These thoughts running through passing their expiry.
Where's the grateful part of me I ask myself.
The part that wants to live and give.
For it it'll be gone pretty soon.

wittled down through expectation.
worn out by inertia.
You are just losing your light out there in space.
So don't take any of it for granted.
Each little piece is precious.

Mother, did you say something.

 His house was round and towerlike.
Tapering down and keeping the cold out.
But for Michael there was always something missing.
Some tragedy happening he didn't have the hands to fix.

The fine wooden panels.
The head and throat of the building.
Protected from the winds outside.
So kept inside the bubble.

In the pain he witnessed from the kitchen window.
The one person who embraced him until he could stand.
Until he could walk and eat by himself.
Until he he could see the agony she carried.

Bless the emptiness the long winter said quietly.
She couldn't hear it, her eyes searched the horizon for blue.
But there was only cloud wearing the pants of mist.
The upbeat father avoidant and cardboard in nature.

Inside the house where three boys grew to men.
And she silently existed in the background.
Sparing her loved ones the opinion.
That lurked middle tongue.

And sometimes in the din of family clamor.
She spoke softly about every unfulfilled dream she ever had.
And one would turn and ask...
"Mother did you say something?"