On this side I try to live

 My hands and desires stay over this side
Do not pass the middle line
Do not dare to incurr embarrasment
Silence is full of ambiguity

My lips and tongue ready to speak
Do it in my mind and no voice manifests
I get on with the beautiful pretend
Of a disordered world well in appearance

In essence boring and bland
Enough to vomit across the other side
Onto someone geared to humiliate the authentic
But my feelings stay on this side

So eveyone can live their best version
Of some acceptable imitated social code
A recipe for perfection 
Never coming to fruition

midlife to three

 I am as an infant
Struggling to distinguish
Blinded and deafened by stimuli
I can barely walk

I am overwhelmed by the nature of need
By want mistaken as need
I am falling on my journey to the breakfast table
Wobbly legs sabotage my trajectory

I once saw myself as genius a mystic even
Though I am three and a half
Slurring my words
Not fit for this world yet

Just a babysitter's job
And when noone is looking I crawl
I cry at the absence of care
I try to make sense of the whole mess

The gist of this strength

 Compound this kinetic storm.
Arm myself, Intact central knowing eye
Roots pierce the marrow further into the ground
Ascending tears through struggle and trouble
Power is raw, crude but aligned, and inevitable.

Syg sig dance 
I revived after the crash the gist is that
Touched the smooth scars now healed

Fate is blood-and-omened born above flash floods
Side desires crushed focused pace, flow out deluge!
Do not long, don't falter, form the threads of the sun
Forge a deliberate, relentless fire 

Miracles pour, furnace of heart,
Draw fire, ardent sinew of conviction,
Bend reality with friction, absolute fury,
Conjure deadly flows new, unshakable ideals.

Enter into this night I have woven
Feel the strings tighten that's the gist
Syg sig dance dance dance in your mind

Fortitude balancing every direction imminent expansion
Clarity hammers doubt into shards.
Folds of metal in my resolve, destroy obstacles, and walk forward,
The steady calm is steel, this anchor is unbreakable

Ran me over

 Why did you hit me with your car
I was thrown five meters away
Onto the curb I revived bleeding
refused my father's help

I ran out and the sun had hit my eyes
I was boosted off the bonnet
A piece of meat flying through the air
A child no one was watching


I was bleeding from head to toe
The car stopped and I was carried onto the sofa
Where I continued to bleed 
Soon I'll be in the ambulance

But there at the sliding door she was 
that ambiguity on her face
come in or stay out
Try to apologize?

The beauty in your hesitation
The earliest of traumas resurges
Parts of me left on that road
Hit by that car you were driving

The impact was crushing
let me bleed here in peace

slipping sipping empty

 It slips down in the water
Saps your energy
makes one think life has no point
It was drunken to sustain
To kill thirst

It makes one thristier than ever
More stupid and sentimental
So lost, the world is a dizzy place
Do these words give any more grip
On this place I'm slipping away from

Who I want to be
What I want to pursue
They are crushing questions
I wish they could go back to being empty
But feeling is a quality

The insensitive are cursed

Winter sky predictions

 Healing through these cloudless days
Back to the reality routine
calm constructing
Blue sky such medicine

The angle of the sun
hitting the window, entering
The whispy remains above
little marks of winter holding on

Abrasive UV ray cleansing
I feel the staggering pull of the future
Inside the space of the sky
shaping into those grand ideas

Su Sonrisa

 Sunrise dance for me
Will I ever love beyond the limits
To know myself and stand in love
Can I walk there, will I walk alone

This meadow a sanctuary
A garden forever
Watch it rise up morning golden
Blossom whisper in my quaking heart
Across the thoughts of the day, graceful, easy

Sunrise dances inside my spirit
Performing the morning itself
Singing gentle harmony I give thanks
Brushing across the living garden
Pouring daydreams into love the world craves
I simply paint the way with too many words
Drawing laughter and embrace

I am cherished I grow and grow
A world fully wonderful
Dancing forward to exist purely at day
Spinning toward time's gentle care
Pushing it to yesterday's first shimmer of light
When the melody slowly formed
In the presence of the sun
A garden in forever
A blossom step, lips kissed, heart fed