Absent bedside manner

 In the house ambulance
up and down elizabeth street
A glass zoo both sides of the family
Death bed calamity
Bandages on both kidneys
the sirens rang idyllic panic
Iv drips directly into the brain
the patient my father quite lost as the ambulance turned
what color or degree of mould we will never know

Although those that know best 
with a certificate from god were there
while I was off here in Brazil
fulfilling my own false need for peace
with a mind wound up for war

The ambulance as big as a house
The blood cleaning machines 
The perfection of proud concern
the road and tires screeched like dogs
Like thieves who were sneaking away
in a stolen car
Me in this stolen life
Did I have to steal it to own it
Both kidneys bandaged now

The heart begs for fairness
the brain simultaneously ridcules
and explains it away like a wise older brother
an absent one that drove through ditches to get to palm trees
That are dust just to taste nobilis leaves
But the way the ambulance swerved
everything shifting toward the glass window
overlooking the apathetic city


The ambulance gurney painted with every face of a caring family
except my face
Except my ditch
My unworthy limp
the glitch of me
The tainted blame
The century of disappointment crammed into a few years
That my own brother wish me dead
That he curse me with every chamber
that feudish so natural in his spirit
That I could even love that part, as the years roll like boulders

across my pre-tech generational novelty epoch