Without my pen

 It's time to cut into muscle
Dig deeper into mind
for the outside world
just keeps on winding

dizzying and abusive
little scandals popping popcorn
Little nothings finding footholds in complaint
Leave it out because it spoiled

I swear there's a place
In my heart where i wish it all the best
But the here and now pulls me down
It doesn't want me up, it wants me drowned

When I can't breathe will you just stare
When I'm coughing my last, will you softly comment
With a beautiful mouth
But I won't hear it

Make something of this attempter I find surrounded in my flesh
My word hasn't a home between your ears
There is no rhyme and the line breaks are putrid
I swear there's a place in every piece of prose I throw

Prose that should eliminate the nothings
And find footholds in your imagination
Alas there's nothing you turn me down
my ears are deafened my mouth is dumb

I experience you all in fear
your stupid expectations I'll never live up to
The vision of me I've become inside some of you
When you never bothered to read me

So i'll cut into muscle and dig deeper into mind
Pretend to greet me when you see me
If you think yourself as kind
Because I'll be gone soon up the mountain

To face the inevitable
homeless without my magic pen