Rubber necking from heaven

 It was christmas eve and some of the restaurants would shut to the public. Then anyone who wanted to stay there would have to pay through the nose for the ticket banquet.
They could stay all night feeding their faces and drinking until inebriation.
Near those big sophisticated restaurants there was a mexican taco joint. Five buddies were already waiting for me in there with drinks and food all lined up across the table as if they were just waiting for me to take my seat. The neon lights still beat the intensity of the afternoon sun. Lighting up the bench of wrapped food and drink with a blinding glare, that called me and at the same time stopped me.
They were shaky with excitement and anticipated jokes. It was going to be a rowdy christmas party.
As soon as I sat the jokes and laughing began and happiness hit me like a foreign t.v show, something I wasn't accustomed to. Their jaws moved too quickly, the laughing was infectious. Was life just a game afterall was it me that took everything so seriously in vain. 
Now that would make me truly laugh. God stamping the redundancy of my seriousness or even a demerit point disallowing me to join the carefree friends who passed effortlessly through the pearly gates.
Me grabbing hold and recounting every good deed I'd ever done as if defending my job on the day of getting the sack.
They ate and laughed and vibrated as if they had already achieved everything.
I ate cautiously and tried to understand their jokes saying to myself that if I was able, maybe I could also give off the same aura and be the center of recieving all of God's love.
My awkwardness fed their hilarity like gasoline, If i told them what I was really thinking, they would most probably bust their lungs in loud bellowing uproars.
Die and be given their free pass and told... Thanks for enjoying your serene stay on earth.

Before entering of course they'd spend a few millenia watching the rest of my life chuckling away in the bushy altocumulus. Good to know I'd have an audience up there amusing themselves on my awkward seriousness. My questioning and judgement. Saint Peter distributing popcorn, some of the straglers from the inside of the pearly gates trying to rubber neck it down to my clumsy lot.