I am composed

 I will order my life in from the outside
Here things are quiet and contemplative
Then the doorbell rings and sacks of food arrive
I pick them up and count the groceries

I order my life in
I stroke my own neck
Am I my own cat?
Am I my own object of desire?

conveniently forgetting the things I don't want to think of myself
Celebrating the things that hold me up to life
I order my life in straight off some menu
I come together like a cake recipe

I have become the few things that remain in habit
repetitive fibrous and grainy so alive oh dear
I live through them like a kid with a telescope
like man obsessed it's legs and fists and movement forward

It's onward living life in from the outside
vigor on the inside
conjured out of the small pond of will power
whose micro tides push me forward