Faint immiscibility

 that drop of oil falls and blends and spreads across the surface of my life
tiny pieces of a unit pulled out into a thousand parts differing in size and roundness
impacting my brain as I attempt to count each little one wishing them back into the drop
The process is not reversible in this cup of water in this cup of life

The drop of chaos drops into your daily routine forcing it's impositions upon the feel
upon the morning and afternoon adding too much sugar not quite enough
satisfaction sits somewhere in the brain and the gut like a loose smooth God
waiting for your offerings so open curtains and serve yourself from this day

The drop of oil that splashes into the glass and ruins your drink
separating like a big bang escaping the cotton to absorb it
leaving every aspect of life uncontrollably random
unprocessed and raw not consumable

That drop of chaos in the explosion
mortar breaking the shopfronts and layered streetsigns
daily life sends us as lame beggers brainwashed to seek relief
Brainwashed to seek control even as it's out of our hands 

I drank through it

 The alcohol sat in my stomach and it was acceptable
the walk home was a bruise and sweaty nightmare
vomiting and remembering an insult from the night at the pub
the grass treated me as foreign and the moon smiled sarcastically

pavement gave me a wink streetlight was a good listener
hangover would linger for the horrid next morning
deepening those pangs of desperation and empty meaninglessness
slowly losers made their way back to the glass

filling it up with excuses a well rounded self deception
a sabotage vintage early 2000s
back into the thick and happy state
health'll get the bill

I continued that drunk weekend existence
intoxicated somewhere awaiting the next drink
my identity fragile outside of the jovial mask
throwing vulgar and humor into piss puddles

unrecognisable feigning charming

liquid to gas

Becoming the swamp mists here in  the 1970s
surging up as a thousand cobras from the murky waters
the thick moist vegetation there was something real
yet unseen by the human eye

Crawling through the rice fields before dawn
consuming stray cattle and small mammals
The under sheer merciless moonlight
The ritual of the transformation continued

Wings formed and long talons
Taking flight and devouring night buzzards
freezing in those heights kilometers high
Becoming the night mists here in the 2030s

The formulas of certainty

 I couldn't doubt my own mind
A drop of methylene blue dispersing
on the surface of the aquarium water
soothes I wouldn't doubt it

the painkillers that went down in the torrent
glass passing lips and flooding mouth and throat
seek solid states of mind between the events
those formulas that destroy equilibriums

Those imaginary ones we can't hold
betraying us as they make their way blooming
into bright prolific untruths leading us further
misleading us with fragrance and beauty

so deep now I wouldn't doubt it
Under your delicate skin
a drop of me dispersing
On your surfaces

the opiates that dove down into you
resurfacing in vibrating euphoria
refusing to play that game of control
formulas of behaviour that ensure balance

In each phase of loving the cave mind

 Deep in the cavern mind a vibration persists
something hovers inside clearly glistening
meditating and bringing it's force together
each phase of the day to the hand tethered

each phase of the month a framed canvas awaiting licks,
of dark grey rock paint it's taken a year to mix
is the color going to live up to your desire
the motor oil to stain your white lies

Deep in the cavern mind
have you misunderstood how
It takes a lot of focus
each minute of the hour

each phase of the moon
slow dreams spark those pools of fire and uncertainty
forming this erotic imagery that somehow works
The fuel to feed that cavern mind

The eyes of the past

 The past looked at me with it's train light eyes
looking into me with a thousand statements
some of them true

How we sour and move 
sour and move

How we grow and resign to it all
grow and resign

pieces of moving architecture
just excuses to spend and comment
how you reassure

on the treatise of a solid society
one that won't just
get pulled out from under you

The past sat across from me and played it's hand
the bluffs were extraordinary I swear I'm impressed
Those soft cheeks and innocent accusations

How we cling to youth cling to youth
sour and move grow and resign

Pieces of you sewn to convention
obeying and adoring 
feeling the years

how we resist the new trends
pretending we never followed them
bluffing our way through

tricking no one
and only just decieving ourselves
moving sourly in resignation

Right now those eyes meet mine
when I look into them
eyes of accusation

The high Auckland lights

 The highway did it's best to carry me to the center city
Old industrial labrynths had become my home
The sensation is built of rejection and shame it is exile
wastelands and warehouse space

The cities warm cafes and need for attention
as desperate as today grouped narcisists
sufferers whose misery found words and pages
wanting to be someone

highway bridges positioned over the hundred suburbs
bathed in light coming from the highest lamposts
unnaturely high and lofty pointing the way
yet unattainable