slight Joy

 This slight joy, my heavy life.
It never felt like it was light enough to hold in my hand this joy... joy.
Just another fork in the road, maybe soon a knife,
Joyful days that I ran from, joyful nothing days that i should be living.
Through my hands this joy has slipped and how it part remains in my palms.
The fires of doubt never charred this hard skin.
Far from my own heart is this day, these days a sequence of boredom so deafening you´d think joy was slaughtered.
Far from this heart is the sweet goodbye to autumn and goodbye to any taste of real life.
It never felt like it was light enough, it felt so heavy, this joy... this joy who delivered it to me how much should I thank god for this liberating feeling of so much joy.
How abstract? Shall I feed on this joy until satisfied? Or save it for hardtimes knowing how scarce it is in reality.
Hello to all who "pretend and it comes real" as i wish it lovers of the secret. Love me.
Hello to the world like it was a ball of crazy magnets... joy.
Hello to all the Big in the small lunchbox "noones" who made it in their lil´niche, here i´m your relief!
Shout at me with your lips on fire, your burning tongue and your red hot teeth.
Give up your foul illusions and thank me for this very joy i hold before you, is it not the stuff of the milky way on earth? Is it not the very elixir that you´ve sought since you were old enough to cry?
This joy like nothing on earth, not even your most beautiful lie.
Far from my heart, goodbye rings sweet! A true word to be hated. When far from my heart, you are close to me, and i´ll call you friend and all my bad advice will be swallowed by your ears until you can´t recognise your own thoughts from mine.
That joy so precious i could convice you it´s almost divine.
This heaviness weighing us to the earth, i´ll sell it to you... it will set you free of freedom, liberate you of liberation and let you feel every limit like the clothes on your back.
This is the joy, and the currency we´ve chosen. How weak it all is.
This joy.