Her disappointment.

She´s grievous,
Should leave her.
She´s nervous,
believe me.
She´s older,
sick of living.
Can´t hold her,
for her shoving.
She hates me,
she loves me.
So I drink and I drug me.
No closeness,
or intimacy.
She struggles,
to kiss me.
I wish,
she´d dismiss me.